Thursday, February 5, 2015

The One Percent.


When I was 20 years old, my lungs decided to fill up with clots and nearly take my life. I won’t go into the story in major detail because you’ve probably heard me yammer on about it before. Basically, this was all brought on by an underlying Protein C deficiency I’ve had since I was born. This severe deficiency happens to 1 in every 4 million people. So basically, I had a very tiny chance of developing these clots, but hey, it happened. And I did.


Last weekend, I started getting these very strange headaches. Every so often, a sharp pain shoots across my forehead for about five seconds and then passes. This happens ten to twenty times a day. By Sunday, I was getting pretty nervous about this pain and decided to call up my doctor. After a consult, an MRI (which are horrifying if you’ve ever had one/are claustrophobic), and a good amount of worrying--my doctor called me and told me that the MRI showed a small arachnoid cyst on my cerebellum. Apparently, these kind of cysts show up in roughly 1% of MRI’s.

“You did it again. You’re keeping your streak up, One Percent.”

One Percent. My New Nickname. Thanks, Doc...


Now, it's nice to feel unique and special, but like, couldn’t I be an exceptionally good dancer or an expert speed reader or something cool like that (Speed reading is cool! Don't judge!)? Why does all my “special” come in the form of some weird health problem? Throw me a bone here, Almighty Universe.



Even though this is a shit situation, I am very thankful that something worse wasn’t found. No tumors, no aneurysms, no clots--just a weird fluid-filled cyst that will probably need draining somewhere down the road. So what’s with these splitting headaches? We still don’t know. That remains a mystery that we’re still working on.

So basically this whole thing sucks, but it could suck a lot worse so I should probably shut the f**k up and stop feeling sorry for myself.

Any time I run into a serious health problem, I feel like I’m being tested in some way. Like the God is tapping me on the shoulder like, "Girl, get your shit together. Stop drowning in the nonsense of life and wake up, yo!"

God probably talks like that, right? That's how I hear him at least.

Stuff like this reminds me that (CHEESE ALERT!) life is precious and short and wonderful and messy and hard as hell. It reminds me that I am called to live as fully as I possibly can. In short, I’m reminded to shut my pie hole and just be cool with waking up every morning with a beating heart and a fresh start.
I’m guilty of getting sucked into petty nonsense. I’m guilty of staring at my phone at dinner instead of engaging in conversation with the person across from me (usually my husband, who is doing the same thing! I hate being that couple...but it happens.). I’m guilty of losing my sense of what really matters in life--family, friends, my pup, a half off sale at DSW... (Kidding!) I doubt that I will ever recover fully from this type of behavior, but I’m privy to it. 

That’s a good first step, right? Right.



I'll keep y'all posted on these headaches if you inCYST on wanting to know. Sorry, bad joke.

2 comments:

  1. You're one of the most beautiful people I know. Your spirit is joy to me....and I am glad you are okay. And my hypothesis is that this 1% stuff is truly here as a reminder to all of us that you are 1 in a million and we are lucky to know you. Keep spreading the love TK. And you are a really good dancer. ..at least when Tswift comes on ;) love ya!!!!

    ReplyDelete